I am Not Dead Yet

July 2015

I am not dead yet

but I will be soon.

Maybe tonight,

if I go to sleep at the right moment

at the right time,

I will be able to die in my dreams.

Where all is surreal

and abstract

it means everything

and yet it means nothing.

 

I am not dead yet

 

but I will be soon.

Maybe in two weeks,

if I am found cooking in my kitchen

and I mince the mushrooms too quickly,

I will end up cutting off my fingers

and stopping circulation to my heart.

Oh how funny I will look

when the headline reads:

“She faced death like a champignon”

 

I am not dead yet

 

but I will be soon.

Maybe in nine months

when I am bringing my offspring

forth into the world,

The earth will run out of land,

and can foster only one more.

Then I will take all of the breaths left within me

and feed them to my child.

 

I am not dead yet

 

but I will be soon.

Maybe in five years

when I am writing under thick maples

in an abundance of wild chamomiles,

will the pollen fill my lungs

and I myself will turn into a giant flower.

Swallowed by the soil

into a lush meadow.

 

I am not dead yet

 

but I will be soon.

Maybe in twenty years

when I have found the cure for cancer

in a laboratory

I, myself,

will be consumed by the disease,

and collapse  with a vial in my hand.

 

I am not dead yet

 

but I will be soon.

Maybe in one hundred years

when I am old and gray,

I will lie in a bed of cold sheets

and hospital pillows,

reminiscing at the times I was happiest,

the mountains that I climbed,

the books I published,

the viruses I’ve cured,

And though my body is dying,

and my lungs are not breathing,

and my heart is now slowing  

and my blood is not flowing,

the essence of me,

myself, and I.

will always remain.

 

I am not dead yet.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s